We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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