Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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