I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize