i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A+ Viking dick
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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