I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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