I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
