The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
