I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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