I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
