We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
