do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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