Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
