Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
