I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
