um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
