im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
