there's paper in my vomit.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
