I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
