I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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