Reggie can tackle my bush.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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