He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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