If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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