so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
