I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
