I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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