they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
