We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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