Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
