also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
