I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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