I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
soo... how was my night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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