dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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