i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
