just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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