You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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