i may or may not be watching the land before time
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
