well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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