At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
