i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
