yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
