Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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