oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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