she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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