You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My brain says no but my pants say off.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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