You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
