Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
