I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
