All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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