I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize