this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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