Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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