This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
