dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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