How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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