She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
