I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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