Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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