I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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