You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
