why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
